


a nightmare that i never can escape

by Lire_Casander



Series: can you see me holding you right in my arms [5]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Nightmares, S02E08 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-26
Updated: 2021-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-27 12:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30122514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lire_Casander/pseuds/Lire_Casander
Summary: carlos can’t get rid of the nightmares
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Series: can you see me holding you right in my arms [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2216796
Comments: 1
Kudos: 48
Collections: 911 Couples Retreat





	a nightmare that i never can escape

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta’ed
> 
> title from _the moment_ by safetysuit
> 
> written for [911 couples retreat challenge](https://911couplesretreat.tumblr.com/), **_day 5: “don’t give me that look” + angst + favorite quote_**

The nightmares don’t go away, even after a full week of having TK back in his bed. Most days, Carlos wakes up in the middle of the night covered in sweat as the images replay in his mind. He’s been having different variations of the same dream — how he never found TK’s sobriety chip, how they reached the restaurant too late, how Owen missed his shot and they lost everyone. Invariably, the nightmares leave him short of breath and shivering.

He’s already used to leaving their bed stealthily, never wanting to disturb TK’s well-deserved rest. He’s already used to climbing down the stairs as silently as his socked feet allow him, until he reaches the solitude of the couch. He’s already used to biting down on his balled fist until he runs out of tears.

He’s not used to TK standing at the bottom step of the stairs, sporting a worried look in his sleepy eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks softly. He doesn’t move, as though sensing that Carlos will break even more if he does.

“Nothing,” he mumbles around the fingers that are still pressed between his lips. “Don’t give me that look,” he continues when TK blinks at him, disbelief present in his features.

“Well, don’t lie to me and then I won’t be giving you _any_ look,” TK retaliates quickly, this time taking one unsteady step towards Carlos. “Just tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing,” Carlos repeats stubbornly.

“It’s not _nothing_ , if it has you crying your eyes out in the middle of the night,” TK says, closer and closer until he’s sitting beside Carlos, but not touching him yet. “Are you having those nightmares again?” At Carlos’ nod, TK sighs. “It’s okay, babe. I’m safe, you found me. I’m with you.”

He reaches out to thread his fingers through Carlos’ curls, and that’s what finally breaks him.

“I’m just _soft_ ,” Carlos blurts out. He’s not proud of the way his voice breaks around the last word, but he’s still too shaken by the nightmares — still too raw from almost losing TK — that the sounds stumble out of his mouth before he can stop them.

“Why would you say that?” TK doesn’t stop his soothing movements as he throws that question to the vacant air. If anything, he pulls Carlos closer. “You’re one of the most badass people I have ever met.”

“If I hadn’t—I shouldn’t have let that man go away,” Carlos hiccups, leaning into TK’s touch. “I would’ve saved you from being kidnapped in the first place.”

“Yeah,” TK agrees, hands now roaming up and down Carlos’ back. “I wouldn’t have been kidnapped, but I’d have had to attend your funeral, babe. That bomb he had strapped across his chest? That’d have ticked off in _you_ cruiser. I would’ve lost you.”

Carlos sobs quietly. He’s used to being the rock — the one TK can always count on — that it feels weird to be the one needing comfort. TK doesn’t question it, he just keeps holding Carlos as though he’s the most precious treasure in the world.

“I know you think you should be some sort of emotionless superhero when you put on that uniform,” TK whispers after a beat. “But there should be a heart behind that shield, you know? Carlos, that’s what makes you _human_.”

Carlos sags against TK, eventually running out of tears. When he’s already calmed down, a thought dawns on him. “Wait a second,” he speaks up, face still flush against TK’s chest. “That’s exactly what your father told me, that day when I went looking for you at the station.”

TK chuckles, sending ripples of happiness throughout Carlos’ body. “What can I say?” he whispers into Carlos’ curls. “Great minds think alike. Also, I might or might not have talked to him. I was worried about you,” he whispers in a soft voice, almost unbearably low. “You’re an amazing cop, but you’re an even better human being. And that’s all because of your heart.”

“It’s all yours,” Carlos whispers back, still hiding in TK’s chest.

TK doesn’t reply. He simply drops a kiss on Carlos’ head and holds him until they both fall back asleep entangled together on the couch.


End file.
